Break me love into pieces.

Now, I had a talk with one of my friends the other day. I won’t say who but we talked about divorce. Yes, it’s a topic not for the discussion for someone like me cause I never went through it before. But then again, I can.

My parents divorce when I was 5. That was when I was just in kindergarten. Back then, I recalled the fact that my dad and I were never close. Not even shoulders to shoulders. Which was the reason why the day the judge asked whom I wanted to follow, my answer was simple. My mom.

Life without my dad was hard. Not that I needed him in any way. But, he sold off the house we were in. I still remembered – Hougang. Yes, he tricked my mom in selling off the only form of accommodation that we had. The days when we shifted houses; from one sister’s place to another. From Tampines to Marsiling; it never came to a good ending. It was hard living with them, on top the fact that they still had their family to take care of. Imagine the three of us – my mom, my sister and myself cramming into one room with all our items inside. It was hard, and painful feeling.

We knew we had to finance ourselves. My sister was working and I was evidently desperate of an education. So, my mom worked. As a matter of fact, she had been working all along.

Then, I was in Primary Three. I followed my mom to work during the holidays. No one was there to help her out and the boss was nice enough to let me help her out. I remembered the days I helped her scrub the floor of toilets and vacuumed the office. It was a company in the industrial park. Life was hard but mom was still persevering on. As a matter of fact, she still gave me 10 bucks out of her measly wage of $500. I treasured that amount dearly to my heart.

She worked there for around 1 year plus. After that, her health was failing and so she decided to work at a muslim stall near our place. Oh, that’s when we got our home. Our very own place. More place for us to stay but of course which comes with high expenses. Mom still worked hard and I studied.

Throughout the years, I dreaded Father’s Day. Or the parental consent form which required my parents to sign. Everytime I return back the form to my teacher, the father column would be blank. When the teacher asked why, I couldn’t answer him/her. I just kept quiet.

In school, there were always talks of a perfect family. In every lesson there was, they talked about happy families and how mom and dad would be the one to be by your side always. All I had is my mom and sister. Yes. If the situation arise for it, my sister would be my father.

Coming to secondary school, life wasn’t that bad. I got into Express stream and I was so damn proud of myself. Not the fact that I think I was smart. All I got was 192 and that was the cutoff for Express Stream in Woodlands Ring Secondary School. I was in the pioneer batch. In my class, I learnt that there were many others who faced the same dilemma as I was. I didn’t all alone at all.

However, I was frequently picked on for being weak and feeble. I wasn’t the jock nor was one of the sluts. I was just a nerd who was plain stupid. I flunked my Maths throughout and couldn’t do Science for heaven’s sake. I only survived barely basing on my languages. I didn’t even know anything about O levels. All I knew was that it was a final examination before we got posted elsewhere.

I was deluded. I thought I could still go JC. What a joke. When I got my results, I could only get into Engineering course in Poly. What’s the other alternative, ITE. Yes, that place that O level kids would shun from. However, I made my way to ITE and took Accounting.

Over there, I started to wake up and realised that many other kids from single parent families have done well. So, why not me? That’s when I decided to do well and look where I have reached. Pretty well done, I must say.

This is why I’m pretty sad and appalled at the same time for kids who have perfect families. No, not saying that they don’t have problems on their own but I’m just saying that they are blessed to have love from both sides of the parties. But, given all that love, they take things for granted. Unlike them, I can’t get all the things that I want. My family is not well educated. We don’t go on holidays to Europe or even Hong Kong. We are not rich at all.

Some kids I know spend a lot. And then not study. They don’t have to worry even. Cause even if they flunked their exams or graduated by just a hair. That’s because their future is so bright and they can just take over the company. Either that, or they know that they have all the money in the world to go overseas university.

It’s sad and it’s hard for people who are studying their ass off just because they need to. And it’s more saddening to know that some are just nonchalant about it. Yes, you won’t be able to see the benefits now.

In time, you will. And don’t say that you have regretted it.

So like Jojo’s song, “It’s too little, too late.”

Untitled.

Cause I dunno what to name this entry.

SIGH.

Today was such a letdown. Woke up at around 4 and then TRIED to study for audit. But alas, nothing went in. What a failure right? Tsk tsk. Anyhow, 2 hours of audit was not productive at all. I barely understand. Alright, I lied. I understooded what each chapter was for; as in the chapter title and that’s it. LOL. Smart right? I know you think I’m smart as well.

Watched teevee all the way til now. Power. OKAY OKAY. I promise I will study at ten later. Alright, maybe 10:30. If not, 11. And so forth.

Anyhow, tomorrow I plan to study A Maths. I gave up on auditing already. Tonight must wrap up everything. Well, to at least secure my doubts. So, who’s with me? Come come leh. Study with me. But I dunno what time I will wake up though. LOL.

Actually, today I did something bad. Really really bad.

I succumbed to the XX vs DY saga. Whose fault? SHARUL fault. It’s her fault for browsing those pages everytime she’s in class. It’s her fault for always talking about XX and DY. No no. I’m not memorising A MATHS. Not dy/dx thing. Wrong wrong. Talking about the recent Xiaxue and Dawn Yang. The former was gossiping about the latter and the latter sued the former. Then it was found out that DY was actually plagiarising from some other sources. Dunno how true it is but I will never do that of course.

Ngee Ann has taught me that plagiarising is an offence. Plagiarise and you can fail. Like OMG right? So, yeah, no plagiarising for me.

But anyhow, moving on back to the saga. It’s sad. Two famous bloggers to end up in such a state. But I like Xiaxue. Her writing of nabehness is the best! Really. I was like reading her archives and superb stuff. And she’s so rich. Advertorials here and there. I also want! HAHA. Too bad, these few days will only be filled with boredom. Cause I’m barely out and the only thing I do is STUDY and watch teeeveee. So yeah. Nothing.

Well, boring or not, yesterday was a rise in viewership. HAHA. Which means, you all still love me right? XOXO.

With that said, I want a chioooooooo iPod Shuffle Nano. I really missed my old one. And you know what happened?

On a rainy day, back when I was in camp (what camp? NS LAH!), like many other NS people, I rushed back home. Yes, despite the fact that it was raining. And cause I was so lazy to change out of my half uniform (no, I was not half naked), I decided to leave in my tshirt, pants and my boots. And of course, I would bring along my iPod Shuffle.

So, I ran all my might, while listening to the music on my iPod. I was hoping that with the rain on my body and on my hair, I would be distracted knowing that I’m wet with the music playing in my ears.

How sad.

There was music, but barely 5 seconds into it.

Somehow, while running, I failed to realise that the iPod had dropped out of my pocket and somewhere out there. All that was left as a token of my loss was my earphones, which was found in my boots.

EWW right? So sad. I had that for one year and that was the longest life a mp3 could get under my care. But what to do? What’s gone cannot be replaced. Well, not unless YOU are willing to sponsor it of course.

This is a true story. Don’t say I anyhow make up story.

Alright now, I will update again tomorrow. As for now, I’m gonna go ahead and concentrate on my teevee. Fine fine, after that I will study.

** Edited: Cause it was my iPod Nano, not Shuffle. Thanks Hel! **

SUUUUUNNN-DAY!

Study session for today. Quite a success, I think.

Met Charlyn up at around 2pm at Admiralty Macs. I finally realised how alienated I was of my own neighbourhood that I didn’t realise that the stationery shop is no longer there. Only when Charlyn wanted to buy folscap did I realise that the shop has been replaced. By a salon.

WHY?

There are already one barbershop and one salon around the area itself. Why need another one? Waste of space right? Now how? I can’t get my stationery. DANG. This is so infuriating. PLEASE. Someone set up a stationery shop now. Even though I only visit the stationery shop once every month. So yeah.

I think Admiralty people don’t think. There are two 7-11 here and they are barely 5 minutes apart. Also, we have a Shop and Save as well as a Prime Supermarket 10 minutes away. WHAT? This is so nonsensical. No wonder these shops are making losses. Or at least I think. At this rate, I don’t think much profits are rolling in.

Anyhow, study session went great. Charlyn did FIT and I studied Audit for the 5th day and only at the 4th chapter. There are 5 more chapters to go. OMG. I’m so slow. But never mind, I shall persevere!

Studied from 2-7 and then went walking with Charlyn at the pasar malam around my area. Along the way, we chatted about random stuff. So funny. LOL. I’m not gonna reveal what we talked about but we should do it more often.

After that, headed home and watched teevee. Pushing Daisies, Fear Factor and now Solitary. PD and Solitary are at the finale and I can’t wait for the new season to happen.

Also, for the three hours that I was watching teevee, I managed to tweak the blogskin. See? So nice already. Not bad huh? I’m pretty much an IT geek as well. Changed the layout for this one and the other blog. If you all got blog and want it customised, tell me. If I free, I help you out.

Saying that, Gossip Girl is coming back on 1st September! So is ANTM! OMG. I’m gonna motivate myself to study so that I can enjoy these shows later on. AHHH.

Anyhow, enough of blogging for now. See y’all later!

XOXO.

BTW, I did another blog for another reason. Check it out and comment!

http://myeverydayrant.blogspot.com/

And as promised, this week’s top referrers!

http://upagainsthetitans.wordpress.com/ 20
http://myunintendedthoughts.wordpress.com/ 14
http://rhea-toreque.blogspot.com/ 13
http://baobaoyihao.wordpress.com/ 7
http://thatswhatiloveaboutyou.blogspot.com/ 5
http://fate-of-the-polaris.blogspot.com/ 5
http://jayzchar.blogspot.com/ 4
http://euniice-is-sots.blogspot.com/ 3
http://i-gotitfrommymomma.blogspot.com/ 2
http://jurrience.blogspot.com/ 2
http://www.kittylingz.blogspot.com/ 2

Prostitution; an irreversible sin?

Alright. This topic will be really really random but yet so pressing in this society. I’m supposed to be studying audit at the moment but whatever. I’m watching Solitary on Channel 5 as I’m typing this anyways.

I was having dinner earlier on and my mom was watching “Sensasi”. It came to this scene whereby a woman insisted that she wanted to pray at a certain mosque. I have no idea why they won’t allow her to do so because I just began to notice the show itself. Suddenly, it dawned on me.

She was a prostitute.

The villagers crowded the area and a group of village people were forming a barricade infront of her and not allowing her to go in. Reason being, she’s “dirty”. Which comes into context what I have to say about it.

I immediately turned to my mom and asked, “Can’t a prostitute pray as well?” which lead her to give me an answer, “Because she’s dirty.”

My question is, “how dirty can we define her?” Isn’t it supposed to be something that God decides? That’s my stand, I dunno about yours. But I believe God doesn’t turn away anyone who believes in Him. Afterall, He gave us life in this world afterall.

To me, a prostitute, albeit the fact that I do get disgusted by their scope of work, have their reasons for doing the things they do. Some of them sell their body cause they were forced to since they were young. Some got raped and decided that their body is for sale. Some were conned into the job. Or maybe some seek pleasure in it.

For whatever reasons it is, I believe that it’s not up to us to scrutinize what they do. Afterall, they decide what they want to do or maybe they can’t help it. Like many of us who are holding various occupations, we do it sometimes because we want to. Honestly, I rather see people prostituting themselves as opposed to those who kill, steal, rob, take drugs. These people go around harming people. Sure, you can say that prostitutes carries AIDS. But hey, those people who went to them did know of the risks, didn’t they? All for the sake of satisfying their sexual desires.

Would you accept a prostitute who has mend her ways to be your wife and be the one who takes care of your kids? Would you have faith in her that she would not revert to her old ways? Would you stop a prostitute for paying respects to the God she believes in? Never mind if she’s only starting to pray to God after she’s gotten herself infested with diseases. As long as she’s willing to change for the better before the end of her life.

It’s sad. We love to judge people by what they are and what they do. The sad truth about this is that we fail to realise who they really are and how they are feeling. Humans have feelings and they too have it. Sure, sometimes we think that they are devoid of feelings just because all they care about is money. But beyond that facade, what do they really desire?

With that, think about it. Nobody is infallible. So instead of judging them, why not judge yourself. You never know when someone would judge you.