Not Ready To Make Nice

It’s ironic how we always seem to fight with our alter ego. Trust me. Everyone has their alter ego; another side of them which they don’t show it to others readily, or should I say unknowingly. For example, look at the most quietest person in your class and observe him/her carefully. Yes, they may look docile and totally harmless but have you ever wondered if there’s another side to them? Whereby they get triggered by the littlest things that offends them, beseeching their anger to surface beneath that petite form, figuratively speaking.

Yes, anger can make or break a person. And how the mood is affected counts on how much anger is exuded or afflicted on. For some, it comes naturally. For others, it comes as a surprise. To me, anger is within me, embodied with every ounce of my body; just like how my skin keeps my flesh protected. The anger is within my flesh and if I can be anal about things, I can literally feel my body ripping apart everytime my anger emerge. Don’t miscontrue the definition of anger though. Different people take on their own approach to handling anger. Some are used to bantering, scolding profanities, resorting to violence and there are those who seek solace in crying. It’s an act which either hurts others or hurts yourself.

So, in class, we were told to check MEL for 36 different anger analysis situations. Clicking the box one by one already tested my patience (I’m not kiddding) so when I finally set my eyes on one of them, I was elated. Yes! A situation that I could relate to. Here’s an excerpt.

One weekend in August, my friend and I went to the library at the Esplanade to study for our exams. We left only at 9 pm when the library closes.

Instead of heading home immediately, we went for dinner and I only reached home at about 11 pm. My parents scolded me for coming home late when the exams were just around the corner. They did not believe that I had gone to study in the library, insisting that all libraries close at 5 pm on weekends. They were unaware that the library at Esplanade closes at 9 pm on weekends. I was accused of lying to them and going out to fool around.

I tried explaining to my parents but they refused to listen. In the end, I just gave up: “You just want to hear that I went out to play, right? OK, I went out with my friends. Are you happy now?” I remembered slamming the door to my room. I hate to be maligned. What angered me the most was that they didn’t trust me.

Jackpot! I was so happy I finally could relate to a situation. I’ve always faced such a situation with my family and it totally gets on my nerves. Just because I don’t show my hardworking side, doesn’t mean I’m not hardworking. Duh! My solution to the problem though is as follows.

Do not fight fire with fire. When someone is angry, the other party should just listen and not retaliate. It will be futile in the event whereby both want to be dominant in the argument. Back off and reason out things in a more apprehensive way. Evaluate and think about each word that you want to say so that you will not end up adding more oil to the fire, figuratively speaking. Someone has to give in, be it his fault or not. Once the storm is over and after the rainbow has emerged will then we are able to sit down and talk about it.

In the heat of anger, a fight is definitely inevitable. But the degree of damage inflicted can be reduced to the minimal. At the end of the day, we will all realize that getting too worked up was not productive at all. The best way to go about it is to point out the reasons for anger to happen and how to prevent it from happening the next time. Like they say, once bitten, twice shy but that’s not the case for every scenario.

Where trust is to be given, give the person the benefit of doubt where it’s due. If it’s a repetitive act though, then you have to take a different approach to it. Being angry or pissed off is not a solution, but more of a liability to the relationship. Being rational definitely will help.

At the end of the day, how we reason out our problems matters. Being angry about something for a long period of time is useless. It will only affect your mood. Instead of pulling a sulky face the whole day, why not cry your heart out and then be nonchalant about the whole thing later? Afterall, while it’s a fine line between anger and happiness, it’s a vice versa situation that can be overturned anytime. Don’t let anger consume you, delete them away.

To sum it all up, throwing a tantrum or being pissed off is not going to help or make wonders. All you have to do is talk things out and solve it amicably. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. You just got to widen up your options and be opened to reasoning.

Diploma in International Blogging Management

I gave up on studying today cause I’m always distracted. I saw Charlyn’s laptop in front of me and I felt so tempted to blog. But yet, I act as if I wasn’t interested. Everytime she went to the toilet, I took her laptop to type this post.

BUT EVERYTIME SHE COMES BACK SO FAST.

EWWW. I think she never wash her hands. LOL! Either that, or she secretly also wanted to blog cause her laptop was on throughout the study session. She looked stressed too. Maybe because she couldn’t blog.

HMMMM. Now, I know.

Anyhow, I was thinking. I love to blog and I hate to study. But if given a chance, why not study something I like right? Then no need to think so hard. Last time, I wouldn’t care about blogging. I blog cause I feel like it. And I like it cause I was having blog wars with a few friends. But think of it, how about having a diploma in International Blogging Management?

Sounds cool right? Read on.

Diploma in International Blogging Management

Introduction

Experienced your mother nagging at you for not studying because you are always facing the computer/laptop all day when all you are doing is blogging and finding new interesting blogs to keep to your bookmarks? Fear not. We feel your plight and share your passion for blogging as well. Featuring the first ever Diploma in International Blogging Management.

You will be learning how to blog like XiaXue, Mr Brown and TypicalBen and of course, be original in your own way. If you are always complaining about low blog traffic, fret not, we will teach you how to get those traffic from all around the world. Sounds interesting, we sure are too.

Let’s all take the blogosphere by storm.

Preparing for the work force

- Internship at Nuffnang about managing advertorials
- Learn from from famous bloggers like XiaXue and TypicalBen
- Learn how to make money by just blogging

Computer-savvy and up-to-date blogging skills

- Discover Innit as a Glitterati member
- Manage your own domain
- Learn how to do your own blog design

Career Prospects

With blogosphere dominating the world of IT, you can be ensured that you can be working independently or with a group of fellow enthusiasts. It’s so easy. Just create a blog, and apply the skills that we teach you and you will be in no time as famous as XiaXue.

Or maybe more.

Accreditation for Further Studies

Your Diploma is recognised by all local and overseas universities. Just take your pick.

Core Modules

Introduction to Blogging
Discovering IT
Marketing 1
Plagiarism
Intellectual Property Law
Nuffnang
Blogging Communication
Advertorials
HTML
Blogging Finance
Adobe Photoshop
Flash Applications

Now, if it ever happened, who would enroll for it? I KNOW I WOULD.

I feel pretty screwed up sometimes.

Basically, these past few weeks have been a fruitful journey for me. All the discussion about self awareness and self esteem definitely sparked some realisation. It had certainly made me feel more appreciative of my surrounding and keeping up with the constant low self esteem I have of myself. Therefore, it certainly stirred up some emotions when I was asked to do some self reflection on myself.

Growing up, I have never been the one who was prominent (I swear I’m not kidding). I always had troubles trying to cope with peer pressure and being stucked in situations whereby I just wanna break down and cry. I was always the quiet one, the so called “good boy” of the class and barely communicating. I have never been popular nor been the socialite I am now back then. No, I’m not lying. Honestly. Though all those happened when I was in primary school. Haha. Got ya. But that did happen.

As I grew older, I thought to myself that unless I do something to change my outlook and personality, I would always be a bane for others’ mockery. That’s when my gift of the gab (or some would call it the weapon of sarcasm) came along. With my new found approach, I was able to blend in the crowd, thus easily becoming one of the “outstanding” students in class. Even so, though I had more friends, I was never really that happy. I saw everyone (okay, I was over exaggerating there) getting involved in a relationship. I wanted one. Yes, WANTED. But I was always overshadowed by those who are more good looking than yours truly. Sure, they always say that personality outshines looks, but in reality, physical attraction counts a lot too.

That was when I decided to lose weight. I did lose weight, got my confidence, but gained them again. Looks like my level of tolerance and discipline is totally bad heh? Then, NS came. For those who don’t know what NS means, it’s National Service, people. Yes, ORD oh! Haha. No more NS obligations for me. Anyhow, I weighed a hefty 71kg before I was enlisted and after I went for my intensive 6 months training, my weight dropped to a remarkable 60kg. Damn, I looked good. (If you’re asking why I don’t look “60kg” anymore, blame in NP’s canteens. Foods are so irresistable!) That’s when I started getting into relationships and stuff. After dabbling in and out of them, I grew tired of it. Looks like it’s all just so superficial heh? So, I figured, being single is the best option for me now. Studies is priority! No kidding.

The benefits gained from the lectures on self awareness and self esteem did wonders for me. I’ve learned more about myself in particular and how to manage myself further. I can’t say for sure that self esteem is something that others can help you with cause ultimately, it’s all up to an individual.

Remember, nobody can make you feel bad without your permission.

I suppose that if you don’t believe in yourself, then nobody else will. And you can’t blame anyone for your lack of belief in yourself.

Five years down the road, I could definitely see myself on another whole new level. A brand new me which exudes further confidence and the eloquence that has never been seen before. Now, I may just be an aspiring student but one day, I will be what I’ve always want to be; an accountant – a successful one at that. The things that I will remember from my former self is that confidence and being opinionated has always been in my blood. It’s something that comes naturally and not induced from obligation. Also, my determination and drive to succeed would always be the advantage to whatever I do. These are all the essentials to reach my objective.

As for now, the two words I will always keep in mind is “opportunity cost”. For me to achieve my goals, I have to choose the right opportunity cost at all times. Study, if I must but play hard when the time to reward is there.

PS: Tag or leave me comments. I will certainly love you for that.